Trump dog

The series of presidential candidate-inspired hot dogs at O.S.S. Madison began with the Trump dog, which was yuge.

Few political observers of any ideological stripe are looking at the marathon presidential election race grinding on for months and thinking, “Hot diggity dog!”

Except for the folks at O.S.S. Madison. Looking for a lively (and nonpartisan) way to get in on the action, the gourmet hot dog/sausage spot at 910 Regent St. has been creating and releasing new candidate-inspired hot dogs over the past few weeks.

The last two weeks have brought dogs inspired by Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, and this week and next will feature Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton. Sorry, John Kasich, you didn’t make the cut. Maybe you’ll fare better at a contested wiener convention.

As befitting a larger-than-life candidate, the Trump Dog was something else, like an editorial cartoon on your lunch plate. O.S.S. Madison was inspired by Trump’s long and loudly stated pledge to “build a wall and have Mexico pay for it.”

On the left side of the plate is half of an all-American hot dog, covered in mustard, ketchup, tomato and onions. The other half of the dog is on the right side of the plate, covered in queso blanco cheese and salsa verde.

Separating the two is a giant wall of French fries — excuse me, “Freedom” fries. So you could pick sides and eat the American dog first or the Mexican one. Or, in the interests of friendship and brotherhood, you could “tear down that wall’ of Freedom fries with your mouth and strengthen Mexican-American relations by joining them together. Brings a tear to your eye, really.

Next up was last week’s Ted Cruz dog, which outsold the Trump dog. Much like the Trump dog, it was a cross-cultural hot dog inspired by Cruz’s Canadian-American heritage, mixing fresh cheese curds and Tex-Mex chili gravy to make a poutine dog with a Lone Star State spin. A pickle and brown mustard (ingredients included on a Cuban sandwich) were added as a nod to his Cuban heritage. And, of course, more Freedom fries.

I will not comment on whether Cruz’s policies are or are not delicious. But this was one tasty hot dog, the heat of the chili gravy combining well with the squeaky curds. The only problem was that it took some effort to keep the Freedom fries from falling out of the hot dog. But hey, Freedom fries aren’t free.

Now it’s on to the Democrats. Next up is a Bernie Sanders dog, which will feature mini corn dog bites and a spicy “Feel the Bern” sauce for dipping. And, like any good socialist, you’re supposed the share the bites equally with everybody else. God Bless America.

Rob Thomas is the features editor and social media editor for the Capital Times, as well as its film critic. He joined the Cap Times in 1999 and has written about movies, music, food and books.