Dear Editor: There is much discussion these days concerning what to do about North Korea's nuclear weapons. Well, I have a solution to propose.
North Korea is good at manufacturing nuclear weapons and missiles. It's true they buy some, but they are also learning how to make them. We like to offshore our manufacturing to other countries. So why not make a deal with North Korea to manufacture all our missiles and nuclear weapons? They can continue to make nuclear bombs and sell them to us much cheaper than we can produce them ourselves.
This is the free-market solution to the threat of nuclear war. As long as we are dependent on their nuclear weapons, they will have no fear that we will attack them. And as long as they are making money selling us bombs, we will have no fear that they will attack us. The free market philosophy holds that free trade promotes peace between nations. This is a perfect opportunity to put the theory into practice.
This would, of course, be a variation of MAD. But instead of mutually assured destruction, it would be MAN, mutually assured non-destruction. And it would prove conclusively that the free market really does work, and can create lasting peace. And, of course, North Korea would take advantage of the opportunity to render the bombs defective in some way, so that they would be inoperative. Thus corruption could ultimately save us all. This may be our only hope.
This may be satire, but how will we know unless we try it?
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