Doritos Locos Tacos

Taco Bell introduced the Doritos Locos Taco last month.

TACO BELL PHOTO

When 77 Square launched our Table Talk food blog last year, the staff here were kicking around various ideas for running features in the blog, such as our regular Meatless Monday feature.

Not being much of a foodie myself, I struggled to come up with something I could contribute to the mix. And then it hit me like a bolt out of the blue. I couldn't make anything in the kitchen, and I couldn't really weigh in knowledgeably on fine dining.

But I could eat things. That was my strength. I could eat things that the foodies on staff wouldn't go near. "Yeah, I Ate That" would be a regular feature, in which I ate things, strange things, horrible and wondrous, and then wrote about the experience.

For months, though, I struggled with what the inaugural subject of this feature would be. What foodstuff would perfectly capture the adventurous, some may say reckless spirit of "Yeah, I Ate That"?

And then the Doritos Locos Tacos came among. Yeah, I ate that.

After work Monday, I drove .2 miles to the new Taco Bell on Highway PD in Fitchburg (with a lovely view overlooking the Aldi). That's roughly 899.8 miles less than those guys supposedly drove in that Taco Bell commercial for a Doritos Locos Taco. All I can say is that it must have been a long, quiet 900-mile drive back.

With the Doritos Locos Taco, Taco Bell has apparently turned its R&D department over to guys leaving a Widespread Panic concert ("Dude, you know what I could so go for right now?") As the name suggests, it is a regular Taco Bell taco ($1.29) or Supreme Taco ($1.69), the difference being that the shell is a Doritos shell.

You can also buy a Big Box for $5, which includes a Doritos Supreme Taco, a regular taco (for comparison's sake, apparently) a Burrito Supreme, and a medium soft drink.

As an aside, I have to point out that when I was in my early 20s and a regular Taco Bell customer, I would drop like five tacos for $2 and not think twice about it. Last night, I barely got through the two tacos and two bites of the burrito before I felt overstuffed. My theory is that everything you eat before you turn 25 goes into a time tunnel, then comes back after you turn 35.

Anyway, I have to say I felt a little underwhelmed by the Doritos taco. Because, while Taco Bell engineers insist that the shell is made out of the same elements as a Dorito chip, the taco shell doesn't seem to have the consistency or texture of a giant, curved Dorito. Instead, it tastes like the usual Taco Bell taco shell that has been given the orange dust treatment. That's kinda lame, and I think they even dialed back the spice on the orange dust, because the flavor seems muted when mixed with the other flavors of the taco. It actually mixes well with the cool sour cream, so if you get one, I'd recommend springing for the Supreme.

In the end, all you're left with is a full stomach, some orange dust on your fingers and the vague feeling that the Doritos Locos Taco just wasn't as awesomely good or as awesomely bad as you'd hoped.

Although I can't help wondering what a Cool Ranch Chalupa would taste like.

(Do you have a suggestions for what should be eaten for "Yeah, I Ate That"? E-mail us at 77tips@madison.com, and we just might eat that.)

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