Mariah Dunham lost a cherished family member a couple of weeks ago when her aunt, Debbie Simonds, died after a year-long battle with brain cancer.

At the same time, Dunham was reminded she has a big extended family with the University of Wisconsin women's basketball team.

It has been an emotional period for Dunham, a junior forward from Watertown, as she has tried to juggle family and basketball. In the end, she has learned they are one and the same.

That point was driven home at Simonds' funeral, when all of UW's coaches and players showed up for the services in Watertown.

"It was awesome," Dunham said. "Everyone came to the funeral. My oldest sister was just bawling that they all came. To feel that support was just amazing." That's what families are for, even extended families, said UW coach Lisa Stone.

"We are a family and we love and care for each other every single day," said Stone, whose Badgers (14-5, 4-4 Big Ten Conference) play Penn State (7-10, 2-5) in a Big Ten game tonight in State College, Pa.

"We're family and we lean on each other through good times and bad."

Simonds, 54, the younger sister of Dunham's mother, Gloria, died Jan. 8 at her home in Watertown. The sisters were always close, Mariah said, and so too were their children.

"My aunt was like a mom to me," Dunham said. "When I was growing up, she was always that extra mother figure in my life. She was just a strong, funny person. Everyone that met her complimented her on her smile. She had the biggest, brightest smile. That's how I'll always remember her.

"If you can think of one special person in your life, she was it for me. She came to all my games and was there after every game. She bought me my scooter when I came to Madison. She was just an inspirational person and a fun person to be around."

A very tough time

Simonds was diagnosed with brain cancer last winter early in Dunham's sophomore season. The news was devastating to Dunham, who struggled on and off the court.

After a promising freshman season in which she started 14 games and averaged 8 points per game, Dunham's productivity and playing time diminished as a sophomore and her average fell to 4.4 ppg. To make matters worse, the Badgers' promising season fizzled and ended in disappointment.

The weight of it all took a toll on Dunham.

"It hurt a lot when she was diagnosed with brain cancer," Dunham said. "It didn't help that we were having such a (bad) year. Everything just kind of came down last year. When she was diagnosed, they only gave her two months to live, but she hung in there for more than a year.

"She was up and down with chemo and all of that stuff. It was really hard to watch that. Then I got diagnosed with depression when all of that happened. It was like, when it rains, it pours. That was the perfect expression for last year."

The ordeal has brought a new perspective on life to Dunham, as she's had to come to grips with mortality. At 20, she's learned what truly are life and death issues.

"That was the weirdest thing," she said. "I was at the funeral and I was thinking about that. My oldest sister is 36 and my aunt was only 54. I was like, that's not much time with my sister. It just opens my eyes to life and is a reminder to enjoy every single day with everyone you have around you because you never know when it's your time.

"... A lot of this stuff has just opened my eyes a lot that you have to appreciate the little things in life. I've been spending a lot of time with my family the last couple weeks and it made me realize how important they are to me."

Family and basketball

For Dunham, the biggest things in her life are family and basketball. In many ways they are intertwined and both aspects have emerged stronger from the painful experience. When times are tough, she will try to draw on the strength demonstrated by her aunt and mother.

"When my aunt was going through all this, my mom was there every single day," she said. "She was there before work and after work, taking care of her right up until the end. She died at home and that's where she wanted to be. It was just cool to see the two strongest people in my life, my mom and my aunt. My mom was hanging on to my aunt's hand the whole way through. In my eyes, she's just the strongest person."

Simonds died while Dunham and the Badgers were playing Ohio State Jan. 8 at the Kohl Center. Dunham scored nine points in the game, all in the second half. She hit a big 3-pointer as the Badgers closed to within five points before Ohio State pulled away in the closing minutes for a 55-42 victory.

"It was really weird because my cousin's husband was watching the game and said that she passed away right after I hit that 3," Dunham said. "He said it gave him goose bumps. I know she's there with me."

Dunham has scored in double figures in every game since then, including a season-best 17 on 7-for-9 shooting in UW's victory over Michigan Jan. 11, the game immediately after Simonds died.

She made sure that a little of her remains with her aunt.

"Last year I gave her my pink jersey from the pink game," said Dunham, referring to the uniforms worn as part of the Women's Basketball Coaches Association's promotion to raise money for breast cancer research and awareness. "I laid it in her casket before they closed it, so she's always next to me."

Login to post your comment. If you don't have an account, you may register for one.